Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The Initial Moves You Have to Make in Getting Your Ex Back

By Jane Mccarthy

Getting your ex back does not have to be a complicated process. The reason most people do the wrong things is that they are following their feelings, instead of thinking logically and seeing what makes sense. Here are 4 simple steps that will get you moving in the right direction:

1. Back off from your ex and give them space

When you are working toward getting your ex back, there might be a temptation to go over to your ex's house and try to convince them to get back with you again. This is unlikely to be effective in most cases. What is more likely to happen is that you will lose control of your words and actions if you are unable to persuade them. It's better not to let your ex see you that way. It will do more harm than good. The better move is to just back off from them for a while and limit contact with them.

2. Become active

While you are not contacting your ex, you have to get out and be active. Otherwise, you will be more tempted to call your ex. Exercise more, spend time with friends, do some charity work, help people less fortunate than yourself. All these activities will make you feel better about yourself and take your mind off of your ex at the same time.

3. Gradually contact your ex again

The third step in getting your ex back is to start contacting them again. This should be after about 2 weeks to a month. By that time, your ex will have had time to start missing you. Make the contact gradual and be upbeat and positive. Let them know some of the good things that are happening in your life. This will pique their curiosity about you.

4. Ask your ex to meet with you informally

Since you have resumed talking to your ex and are friendly with them again, it's time to ask them to see you again. Make this something small and easy for them to agree to-like meeting for coffee or lunch. This will be a chance for your ex to meet you face to face after some time. It will also be a chance for you to impress your ex by showing them how good you are doing since the break up.

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